So everyone pretty much knows depression can literally ruin your life if you don’t have a handle on it. Sipping some coffee, my friend Raven and I talked about how it’s almost impossible for some people to handle a relationship while they are in a severe depression. My boyfriend and I are taking a break right now because of this fact. His depression is causing him to not be able to give me 100% in the relationship, which is okay. He told me he needed to work on himself and not feel so overwhelmed before he could be with me. At first I was confused, angry, sad. Now that I’ve had a chance to chat with some friends about it, get their input (since they also have struggled with depression), I have finally come to acceptance.
Depression is a life-long struggle for some. It can affect the people around you negatively if you don’t change something, and thats what my boyfriend did by asking to take a break. Me giving him space will help him get the help he needs while not having to worry about affecting someone else’s life negatively. It’s fucking sad, but it has to be done. There’s no worse feeling than feeling trapped because of depression in your relationship.
Raven’s advice was perfect. She told me to basically be in a relationship with myself until he came back around (and even if he didn’t, then it wasn’t meant to be). He needs to be able to breathe and not feel so pressured to be with a person when he’s suffocating in a cloud of doom. He didn’t want to bring me into all this with him, which I respect. It was a hard thing to do, knowing he was hurting me, but he was brave enough to do it.
Now all that has to be done is for me to move on, better myself, keep blogging, and lock down an awesome job (which I just had an interview for). Depression hurts everyone, and to this day I still hurt. But thats just a part of life! Learning from your hurt and experiences is what makes you a stronger person, in my opinion.